Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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