My friends, they love my intelligence
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
