singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
