i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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