ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
