super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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