I feel great
I just peed on a car
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
