if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
