Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
