you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
