Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
