i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
