The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i will never coherently bang her
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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