she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
