Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
