Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
