While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
