my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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