You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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