I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
