We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
