You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
