I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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