god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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