Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
