Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
