i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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