Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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