I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
