there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
