you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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