Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
