In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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