you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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