Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
