Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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