I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
