yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
