so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
