puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
