this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
