I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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