sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
