ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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