She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
