Got a toothbrush?
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
