im drinking this country out of the recession.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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