I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Someone came in the potted fern
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
