you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
