I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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