Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
