I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
